I've always gone down there to help. I read about others letting people stay in their homes. There are always problems, but I decided to gamble. From that day forward, I thought I had won the lottery. Then, when we lived together for a while, I didn't want you to go." I could feel your caring and I was in a terrible conflict with Charles. He was very angry and jealous that I lived with another man, no matter how platonic. I couldn't go live with him because there was no place for Brianna to be. I did not tell him about our lovemaking. He could not have understood and I had no reason to hurt him." Rachel far exceeded my expectations. She told me she was trying out for mom and essentially took over Brianna. They were very cute together. Although I hated it when you left with Charles, but I felt that I had to honor my commitment. That was for me, not for you. My empty life filled with people I cared for and each day, I appreciated what I had." Within a week after I arrived over there, I. Wilson was at a meeting with other wagon owners and the wagon master. Mrs. Wilson is very weak and she needs help with Hiram and Lorraine. I think that Mrs. Wilson has consumption and her husband thinks that the weather out west would be better for her. I don't think that Mr. Wilson knows how hard the wagon train could be on her. I'm not sure that I do. These past two weeks have been hard on her, but the medicines that I learned from Mama have helped. Before she left me, Mama gave me a bundle of herbs that she had stored up over the winter and told me that I could use them to help Mrs. Wilson. She also gave me a pouch of special herbs, just for me. Because I must appear to be a girl, she told me that I must take some of the herbs as a tea every day. She explained that when my supply runs out I must find more as I will have to continue to take it the rest of my life. She said that because I looked a bit girlie already, the herbs would work quickly.
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